THE STADIUM OF UNCOMMON SENSE

Ndiya Comprehensive Secondary School (more pics within)

I have had cause to intervene in the recent past on matters affecting my dear state of Akwa Ibom. These interventions have had as the main thrust, the squandering of our common wealth and the evident lack of appreciation of the true essence of governance. Incrementally, actions subsequent to my interventions have been clearly illustrative of the fact that I did not even fully appreciate the extent of the problem. I suspect I have not gotten there yet, but now realize that - 'they clearly do not get it!' Governor Akpabio and his teeming fans have coined the term 'Akpabioism' to represent his governance philosophy. They have also coined the term 'uncommon tranformation' to describe the 'uncommon' infrastructural development that has resulted from Akpabioism. So perhaps Akpabioism stands for a governance style which produces uncommon infrastructural transformation.

HOW WILL YOU VOTE?

If you voted in the 2011 presidential election and had to vote again today with the same leading candidates on the ballot, will your vote be the same?

Please state either YES or NO in the comments below

IF I WAS THE PRESIDENT! (1st Published on February 2nd, 2014)

Photo by: thenet.ng

In a socio-economically developing country especially, like Nigeria, presidential posturing and actions can weigh significantly on the shape and direction of the national psyche. Alarmed at the engineered polarization of the national psyche and consequent tensions I sought access to the president's ears. Extracts of my two hour engagement with the president are shared hereunder.

Me: Good evening Mr President and thank you for your time.

President Jonathan (GEJ): You are welcome and how are things with you?

Me: Things are okay with me sir, business is good, family is fine and I can say that I am enjoying life but things are depressing!

GEJ: You seem to be contradicting yourself or did I not get you clearly?

Me: Sir, it is the same contradiction as that of Nigeria being a rich country with poor people. The pervading atmosphere is that of dejection and anger. You are aware sir, that a volcano can lie dormant 'forever' but you don't tempt fate by going to live nearby and thinking that if it has not erupted all this while it must be in a state of permanent docility.

IS BOLA TINUBU THE PROBLEM WITH NIGERIA? (1st Published on July 16th, 2014)

These past weeks have not been any different from the past months, Nigeria has been stumbling from one crisis to another, from one killing to another, from one scandal to another from one distasteful act of impunity to more disquieting acts of impunity and so on. In all of these there is no hope that things will quieten down anytime soon or indeed that we have seen/heard the worst. Things happen with such varying degrees of absurdity and at such frenetic pace, that it is not feasible for any 'breaking news' to grab our attention for any length of time. The military clampdown on some media organizations and seizure of their newspapers, is distant memory. The infamous tragicomic 'only you waka come' rendition has had its screenplay hijacked and adapted only for pure comedy away from the horror show that it so cruelly depicted. The Chibok saga is still in the news thankfully because of the  '#Bring back our girls' campaign. Even at that, the fact that Onyeka Onwenu and Kema Chikwe both frontline national women leaders publicly doubted the fact of the chibok abduction is faint memory. The bombings in Abuja have receded from our memory to be replaced for now with the apprehension of where next. The Ekiti election has come and gone and any messages, if at all, drowned out by contrived public commentary which very much mirrors a situation where a commentator watching a football match at Onikan Stadium will be commentating on a basketball match at National Stadium. If the election itself is distant memory, then talk less of the interview, Senator Ayo Arise gave, penultimate day to the election, on national breakfast television where with the typical arrogance of 'today's people' he boasted of certain victory. His deep insights included the fact that the President, Dr Goodluck Jonathan had made money available to the Fayose campaign and so they will outmatch the APC cashwise! That kind of talk has not been worthy of any further analysis, not even in the shortlived post Ekiti debate.

LETTER TO OBY EZEKWESILI (1st Published on July 2nd, 2014)

Photo By: Andrew Aitchison / Global Ocean Commission

Dear Oby, Please permit the easy familiarity and by way of introduction suffice it to say that I am older in natural age than your illustrious self and hence my sense of entitlement. This letter has been prompted in part by online posts I stumbled upon wherein one of the numerous anonymous online regime supporters labelled you as 'ewu Hausa' and yet another wondered why you were carrying the chibok 'abduction thing', 'on your head' as if you were Hausa. I also get a feeling that this sentiment is gaining some currency in Nigeria's increasingly polarized atmosphere. Ordinarily these kind of comments, being so inane ought not to elicit any other reaction but disgust, indignation and pity for the authors' small minded inhumanity. However we live in strange but by no means uncharted times. Times where reason appears to be taking flight from the souls of otherwise presumed reasonable people and where those who take directions from them have shut their eyes and rely only on their ears to follow a direction, which if only they opened their eyes, will discover is headed to an approaching cliff edge.

THE DIFFERENT COLOURS OF MONEY (1st Published on Apr 7th, 2014)

I do not know how many people out there know of a community in Ondo State known as Ilara Mokin. What I know is that neither myself nor the other members of the touring party that visited Ilara Mokin from the 4th - 6th April 2014 would have had any business undertaking a four hour drive from Lagos to Ilara Mokin but for its  magnificent golf course ( Mokin Smokin Hills). For many months now, there has been talk in the air especially in the Nigerian golfing community about a new world class golf course 'near Akure'. Given the typical golfer's notorious inclination for fanciful description of not only his golfing prowess but familiarity with international golf courses, I was initially dismissive of excitable utterances like 'The only championship course in Nigeria!' 'Finer than all the golf courses I have played in Spain!' and so on! The increase in not only the decibel level but the number of golfers making these claims prompted the touring party aforementioned.

THE TRUE ESSENCE OF CHIBOK (1st Published on May 16th, 2014)

A few years ago, I was driving along the busy Gbagada express way in Lagos, and at some point there was a serious hold-up occasioned by a massive crowd. Naturally my curiosity was aroused and I inquired as to what was happening. I was told - 'eiye di eniyan!' This in Yoruba which I don’t speak means “a bird turned to human being!”

 I never saw the human being or the bird but the story was all over town that a bird had been knocked down and it somehow magically transformed into a human being in female form, of course dead! I laughed it off but did not forget to mention it to one of my sisters in a later telephone conversation. To my astonishment, she believed the possibility of that occurrence and even regaled me with a similar fabulous magical occurrence in Port Harcourt where a cat turned into a woman! I chastised her that a lady with post graduate education should not be so silly. Although she admitted to not personally seeing the 'vision' herself, she was convinced of its reality and when she mentioned that the woman's name was Cecilia – I gave up. I have never met anyone who has personally seen any of these incredulous spectacles but they always know someone who saw 'with their two eyes!'

THE OVERSEER, THE ACCOUNTANT AND US! (1st Published on February 20th, 2014)

The present controversy surrounding the alleged missing money has been made more controversial with the removal by suspension of the Central Bank Governor, Sanusi Lamido Sanusi (SLS). An otherwise straightforward situation has been so deliberately dramatized, that the citizenry is now confused and polarized. The following is my own dramatization of the situation.

UNCOMMON MELODY FROM AKWA IBOM (1st Published on November 14th 2013)

People familiar with my dear state may expect from the heading that this is about the upcoming Christmas carol concert soon to hold in Uyo. The choir is advertised to consist of 9,990 choristers, comprising many world renowned artistes and is touted as the biggest in the world!                             

I have heard that music is the food of love, so I am left wondering whether the attendant cost is justifiable in terms of whether there are not more compelling demonstrations  of love for the people.

It however seems there is something about music in Akwa Ibom but unfortunately it is not music to my ears nor should it be to anybody who loves Akwa Ibom and its good people. I was at the Le Meridien hotel and golf resort in Uyo last week. I ran into two excitable white men at the hotel restaurant and I could sense they were in the mood to chat so I went over. Upon my enquiry about their mission in Uyo, I was stupefied by what I heard – These two Americans had been flown in all the way from the United States of America to install a music system in the private residence of a public officer in the State!

TAI SOLARIN, BUHARI ET AL

In life, it is often chance encounters and seemingly innocous events that help to reorder  our perspective on serious issues. When the phrase “ the labours of our heroes past shall not be in vain' is put out there, ones mind inevitably flashes to the Azikiwes, Awolowos, Abubakars, Dick Tigers et al of this world. For me, a chance encounter in September this year with a white lady in Zurich, Switzerland has helped reorder my analysis of personalities and their contribution to the Nigerian story. My wife had dragged me (as usual) to an antique sale. In the hall, a white lady, perhaps in her seventies walked up to us and politely asked where we were from and we proudly answered NIGERIA. The next thing we heard from her were – 'kaaro o! Ekabo , shay Nigeria lo ngbe abi London ni (Yoruba for good morning, welcome, do you live in Nigeria or London).

A TALE OF TWO PARTIES

The essence of this piece is to offer my tuppence on a topic that continues to be debated. In the event that Nigeria is said to have two dominant parties, the ruling PDP and the opposition APC, it only makes sense to presuppose that the two entities will essentially be different. Different in the sense that even in a situation where you have two parties with exact same ideology, they cannot be said to be the same which is why they have different identities to start with. Or perhaps would it be correct to say that the Anglican church is the same as the Catholic church because the membership of both is composed essentially of christians, some good some bad? In the event that the PDP has found itself in a reputational dirtpit, it finds it convenient to proclaim that the APC is no different from it and often the fact that many members of APC are former (and perhaps future) members of PDP is cited as proof.

NATIONAL CONFERENCE – A Whisper in the Ear

Let me begin from the conclusion – national conference or dialogue or conversation as envisaged by the protagonists will not take place!

It will not take place because it is putting the cart before the horse. Only the people of Nigeria have the sovereign right to decide whether or not to have a national conference.

Without a referendum to have a national conference it will amount to a usurpation of the peoples rights for the government to organize such a conference. Without the peoples verified consent, any other type of conference cannot be sovereign and any conference that is not sovereign is mere gimmickry and a waste of our time and resources.

It will not take place because you do not build a house from the roof. How can you have a national conference when the components of the 'national' have not had their conferences?