TOPEDO – THE NATURAL BORN BUILDER AT 50!

“What do you think you are doing? Don’t tell me you are an Abacha supporter!” “What do you mean? How can you call me an Abacha supporter?’ “But you are wearing an Abacha lapel badge!’ “Oh this? Come on, it doesn’t mean anything. Everybody in Abuja is wearing Abacha badges! “You are not everybody! You are better than that! In order to move on, especially as we had not seen physically for some months, Topedo, at the receiving end of my highly charged and judgmental ‘hello’ retorted - ‘no vex’, and we went on to chat about other things. As we departed that occasion, I noticed that the badge had disappeared! From time to time over the years, Topedo has reminded me of that incident, and how easily, one can get carried away in the business world and how he appreciates the fact that I made a fuss about it. I have opened this tribute to my friend of over three decades with a recollection, which in my view, epitomizes his tremendous sense of self-respect and the courage to admit mistakes and change direction to maintain his true essence.

ENTER THE HERDSMEN!

In my dear country Nigeria, the notion that ‘nature abhors a vacuum’, is adopted and applied in a typically absurd manner. As a people, we seem to thrive on the basis that there must always be a smouldering fire to keep us busy. Moreover, rather unfortunately, for our wholesome interdependent coexistence, we have become very adept at creating or perhaps inventing fires. In the period since the return of civil rule, we have successfully dowsed the Sharia fire. In perhaps Obasanjo’s finest leadership moment, he cut off the oxygen from those who were fanning the embers. We dowsed the 2015 election fire. In perhaps Jonathan’s only leadership moment, he threw the lighting rod in his possession into the creeks rather than the highly combustible basin of ethno-religious substance that was clearly within reach. In the past few weeks it is evident that the Boko Haram fire is being successfully extinguished and even though the ash still smoulders in different places, our rejuvenated gallant military seem poised to choke out any remaining life in that fire.

WHY GOATS STEAL YAMS

Our dear President Goodluck Jonathan, like most political leaders under constant public gaze and oftentimes, glare has had his fair share of 'moments to regret'. Different leaders have different ways of dealing with the aftershocks of these blunders. Some indeed can be laughed off. Others can be logically reconstructed with clever 'wordneering'. The thing though is that there are certain attributes that help a bumbler to talk himself out of a sticky 'moment to regret'. It may be a gift of the garb, locally known as 'sweet mouth' or the confidence to admit that it was a 'stupid thing to say'. Or indeed to keep quiet and at least some will afford the benefit that the bumbler had seen the light and was internalizing his painful regret. Our dear President Jonathan,  will rather and in the most unconvincing fashion defend the indefensible and make things worse, or in 'yamandgoatspeak' -  'pour sand in his own garri' 

RIFLES, ENEMIES, CERTIFICATES AND KIRIKIRI

For many months, some vested interest groups, on realizing the imminent possibility of a successful Barack Obama candidacy for the presidency of the United States, sponsored the throwing of different arrows to puncture same. They either claimed that he was not a bona fide US citizen or was a Muslim, Kenyan or Indonesian or such inanities. Obama refused to answer those 'issues' and it was from him I first heard the phrase 'silly season' – meaning (in my view) the 'hot' period leading up to an election where people get so confused by a myriad of issues and personalities, that they will rather 'cool off' and enjoy more salacious jibes and mudslinging. In Nigeria there is no shortage of supplies of arrows and it will appear that even our dear President Goodluck Jonathan whilst he detests 'opposition' and social media arrows, has his own arsenal and now fancies throwing a few himself. The problem with throwing arrows, is that if an arrow is blunt no matter how poisoned or poisonous the thrower is, the target will suffer at most minor bruises and at times a backfiring may occur. Another problem I see, is that Buhari like Obama being of similar frame provide very slim targets and often even the blunt arrow will miss the target!
 

THE STADIUM OF UNCOMMON SENSE

Ndiya Comprehensive Secondary School (more pics within)

I have had cause to intervene in the recent past on matters affecting my dear state of Akwa Ibom. These interventions have had as the main thrust, the squandering of our common wealth and the evident lack of appreciation of the true essence of governance. Incrementally, actions subsequent to my interventions have been clearly illustrative of the fact that I did not even fully appreciate the extent of the problem. I suspect I have not gotten there yet, but now realize that - 'they clearly do not get it!' Governor Akpabio and his teeming fans have coined the term 'Akpabioism' to represent his governance philosophy. They have also coined the term 'uncommon tranformation' to describe the 'uncommon' infrastructural development that has resulted from Akpabioism. So perhaps Akpabioism stands for a governance style which produces uncommon infrastructural transformation.

HOW WILL YOU VOTE?

If you voted in the 2011 presidential election and had to vote again today with the same leading candidates on the ballot, will your vote be the same?

Please state either YES or NO in the comments below

IF I WAS THE PRESIDENT! (1st Published on February 2nd, 2014)

Photo by: thenet.ng

In a socio-economically developing country especially, like Nigeria, presidential posturing and actions can weigh significantly on the shape and direction of the national psyche. Alarmed at the engineered polarization of the national psyche and consequent tensions I sought access to the president's ears. Extracts of my two hour engagement with the president are shared hereunder.

Me: Good evening Mr President and thank you for your time.

President Jonathan (GEJ): You are welcome and how are things with you?

Me: Things are okay with me sir, business is good, family is fine and I can say that I am enjoying life but things are depressing!

GEJ: You seem to be contradicting yourself or did I not get you clearly?

Me: Sir, it is the same contradiction as that of Nigeria being a rich country with poor people. The pervading atmosphere is that of dejection and anger. You are aware sir, that a volcano can lie dormant 'forever' but you don't tempt fate by going to live nearby and thinking that if it has not erupted all this while it must be in a state of permanent docility.

IS BOLA TINUBU THE PROBLEM WITH NIGERIA? (1st Published on July 16th, 2014)

These past weeks have not been any different from the past months, Nigeria has been stumbling from one crisis to another, from one killing to another, from one scandal to another from one distasteful act of impunity to more disquieting acts of impunity and so on. In all of these there is no hope that things will quieten down anytime soon or indeed that we have seen/heard the worst. Things happen with such varying degrees of absurdity and at such frenetic pace, that it is not feasible for any 'breaking news' to grab our attention for any length of time. The military clampdown on some media organizations and seizure of their newspapers, is distant memory. The infamous tragicomic 'only you waka come' rendition has had its screenplay hijacked and adapted only for pure comedy away from the horror show that it so cruelly depicted. The Chibok saga is still in the news thankfully because of the  '#Bring back our girls' campaign. Even at that, the fact that Onyeka Onwenu and Kema Chikwe both frontline national women leaders publicly doubted the fact of the chibok abduction is faint memory. The bombings in Abuja have receded from our memory to be replaced for now with the apprehension of where next. The Ekiti election has come and gone and any messages, if at all, drowned out by contrived public commentary which very much mirrors a situation where a commentator watching a football match at Onikan Stadium will be commentating on a basketball match at National Stadium. If the election itself is distant memory, then talk less of the interview, Senator Ayo Arise gave, penultimate day to the election, on national breakfast television where with the typical arrogance of 'today's people' he boasted of certain victory. His deep insights included the fact that the President, Dr Goodluck Jonathan had made money available to the Fayose campaign and so they will outmatch the APC cashwise! That kind of talk has not been worthy of any further analysis, not even in the shortlived post Ekiti debate.

LETTER TO OBY EZEKWESILI (1st Published on July 2nd, 2014)

Photo By: Andrew Aitchison / Global Ocean Commission

Dear Oby, Please permit the easy familiarity and by way of introduction suffice it to say that I am older in natural age than your illustrious self and hence my sense of entitlement. This letter has been prompted in part by online posts I stumbled upon wherein one of the numerous anonymous online regime supporters labelled you as 'ewu Hausa' and yet another wondered why you were carrying the chibok 'abduction thing', 'on your head' as if you were Hausa. I also get a feeling that this sentiment is gaining some currency in Nigeria's increasingly polarized atmosphere. Ordinarily these kind of comments, being so inane ought not to elicit any other reaction but disgust, indignation and pity for the authors' small minded inhumanity. However we live in strange but by no means uncharted times. Times where reason appears to be taking flight from the souls of otherwise presumed reasonable people and where those who take directions from them have shut their eyes and rely only on their ears to follow a direction, which if only they opened their eyes, will discover is headed to an approaching cliff edge.

THE DIFFERENT COLOURS OF MONEY (1st Published on Apr 7th, 2014)

I do not know how many people out there know of a community in Ondo State known as Ilara Mokin. What I know is that neither myself nor the other members of the touring party that visited Ilara Mokin from the 4th - 6th April 2014 would have had any business undertaking a four hour drive from Lagos to Ilara Mokin but for its  magnificent golf course ( Mokin Smokin Hills). For many months now, there has been talk in the air especially in the Nigerian golfing community about a new world class golf course 'near Akure'. Given the typical golfer's notorious inclination for fanciful description of not only his golfing prowess but familiarity with international golf courses, I was initially dismissive of excitable utterances like 'The only championship course in Nigeria!' 'Finer than all the golf courses I have played in Spain!' and so on! The increase in not only the decibel level but the number of golfers making these claims prompted the touring party aforementioned.

THE TRUE ESSENCE OF CHIBOK (1st Published on May 16th, 2014)

A few years ago, I was driving along the busy Gbagada express way in Lagos, and at some point there was a serious hold-up occasioned by a massive crowd. Naturally my curiosity was aroused and I inquired as to what was happening. I was told - 'eiye di eniyan!' This in Yoruba which I don’t speak means “a bird turned to human being!”

 I never saw the human being or the bird but the story was all over town that a bird had been knocked down and it somehow magically transformed into a human being in female form, of course dead! I laughed it off but did not forget to mention it to one of my sisters in a later telephone conversation. To my astonishment, she believed the possibility of that occurrence and even regaled me with a similar fabulous magical occurrence in Port Harcourt where a cat turned into a woman! I chastised her that a lady with post graduate education should not be so silly. Although she admitted to not personally seeing the 'vision' herself, she was convinced of its reality and when she mentioned that the woman's name was Cecilia – I gave up. I have never met anyone who has personally seen any of these incredulous spectacles but they always know someone who saw 'with their two eyes!'

THE OVERSEER, THE ACCOUNTANT AND US! (1st Published on February 20th, 2014)

The present controversy surrounding the alleged missing money has been made more controversial with the removal by suspension of the Central Bank Governor, Sanusi Lamido Sanusi (SLS). An otherwise straightforward situation has been so deliberately dramatized, that the citizenry is now confused and polarized. The following is my own dramatization of the situation.